I have been thinking about it this way lately... Since the Michael Mead (mosaic voices.org) retreat I attended, I think.  You know how language is so important- how the way we say things is an inherent part of, or a clear expression of, how we think about things.  Well, I realized that it wasn't serving me to say, "I am trying to release this."  It makes much more sense for me to say, "How can I use this energy more constructively?"  Tranformation, rather than the rejection, expulsion, "release" of the energy...  I'll give you an example.

See, it came from the story that Michael told about the bird who had to beat on the little piece of charcoal that he found- the one that he thought was what was left of his home- after all of the earth had been consumed by fire and only charcoal was left.  He had to beat on that charcoal, as though it was a drum.  And when a tiny, fresh tendril of green life sprouted out of that charcoal, he sang to it and danced around it, until it grew into a great tree.  The story goes on, with ever enriching imagery, but the story I'm telling you now is this one:  Michael asked us, "What is your charcoal?  What is the dead thing you carry that needs to be sung to, so that new life can spring from it?" 

The answer that first came to mind was, of all things, housework.  Funny, huh?  So I thought about it.  What does housework mean to me?  I couldn't stand housework.  I had no motivation to do it.  Why not?  Because this house that I'm supposed to be caring for doesn't feel like mine.  It feels like it belongs to the marriage that was supposed to have died four years ago.  I felt like I was living in an empty coffin.  What haven't I let go of that is still living here, in this house, making me feel as though the house is still stuck in 2002, while I'm supposed to be here in 2006?  Inadequacy.  Powerlessness.  Isolation.  Those were the answers that came.  Those were the words that told the story of my marriage that was swimming in my depths, infusing my house with negativity.

Back to the bird with the charcoal.  Does the bird just, "Let it go"??  Does he, "Get on with life" and find another Earth to build a home on?  Does he, "Get over it" and "Release his sadness"??  No.  He sings to it.  He picks up the charred, dead bits of what used to be his home and he sings to it, therby, transforming it.

Inadequacy => Humility
Powerlessness => Surrender
Isolation => Solitude

Shadow and Light.  The wound is the blessing.  The curse is the gift.  Don't banish your pain.  USE IT.


Posted on 11/27/06; 11:15:58 PM